Thursday, June 28, 2007

Oh. Didn't I mention I was crazy? Well, now you know for certain.

Whew. Thanks, Dominque, for letting me know at least one of the cards made it! Hopefully, it made it in one piece. If I do this again, I'll put it in an envelope (or make them more durable) so that I don't question it all to the end.

Lately, I've been having a good number of anxiety attack flare-ups. Nothing too unusual there...every few months I seem to get several bouts of the wooziness, the falling sensation, the pounding heart. I feel pretty confident I'm having a hard go of it right now because we are just about to (slow down, pounding heart) start a new school for Kidlet next week. We adore our current situation and we really lucked into it. It makes me wonder "Am I really this crazy? Why do I want to change up a good thing, especially when we had such an awful experience in the daycare previous to our current one?" Right now, Kidlet tickles the babies' toes and has booty-shaking parties with her buddy. What will she be doing next week? Gardening, doing schoolwork, wading in kiddie pools and making new friends? Crying for eight hours a day? Oh dear. I keep hoping Kidlet's claims of "I love my new school" aren't just idle chitchat.

Ok, now that I've got myself worked up into a frenzy, let me tell you something kinda cool. Yesterday as I was driving to work (after I dropped off a happy Kidlet at her current daycare), I was overcome with a feeling of absolute calm and contentment. It was strange as it was sort of what one might expect before they die (little life scenes passing before one's eyes) but it was good. I felt like I had done life right. I had an overwhelming gratefulness for this life that I have. I tell you, if you can wrangle up that feeling, I highly recommend it. I really have no idea what brought this about; I was driving, thinking about nothing in particular and then bam! It wasn't something that I carried throughout the day, but I could recall it.

Wow, now that I've revealed my absolute craziness to the rest of the world...ummm...have a great day, eh?

2 comments:

Knitting Momma said...

We've talked about your school choice and I really feel you made an excellent, wonderful one. Kidlet might face a few days of adjustment, but she's going to love love love it. Really. KK does. He RUNS to play with his new friends (adjusted v easily to a new classroom in May) and is learning so many cool things.

Rest easy, mama. It's all good.

Ani said...

thank you KM for soothing my jangled nerves. today is day one and i haven't received any 'your child is a sobbing lump, please retrieve' phone calls, so so far, so good!