And now for something completely different.

Getting ready for the 4th of July?

At least a half dozen times a day, Kidlet's new question is "what is freedom?"

No, not for the holiday. We are reading Disney's The Little Mermaid, over and over (and over) again. Ursula the Sea Witch takes away King Triton's freedom in exchange for Ariel's. Kind of a tough one to answer, eh? Or is it just me tying freedom up (ha ha) with other concepts? Funny how a 3-year-old can make you think about things.

Oh. Didn't I mention I was crazy? Well, now you know for certain.

Whew. Thanks, Dominque, for letting me know at least one of the cards made it! Hopefully, it made it in one piece. If I do this again, I'll put it in an envelope (or make them more durable) so that I don't question it all to the end.

Lately, I've been having a good number of anxiety attack flare-ups. Nothing too unusual there...every few months I seem to get several bouts of the wooziness, the falling sensation, the pounding heart. I feel pretty confident I'm having a hard go of it right now because we are just about to (slow down, pounding heart) start a new school for Kidlet next week. We adore our current situation and we really lucked into it. It makes me wonder "Am I really this crazy? Why do I want to change up a good thing, especially when we had such an awful experience in the daycare previous to our current one?" Right now, Kidlet tickles the babies' toes and has booty-shaking parties with her buddy. What will she be doing next week? Gardening, doing schoolwork, wading in kiddie pools and making new friends? Crying for eight hours a day? Oh dear. I keep hoping Kidlet's claims of "I love my new school" aren't just idle chitchat.

Ok, now that I've got myself worked up into a frenzy, let me tell you something kinda cool. Yesterday as I was driving to work (after I dropped off a happy Kidlet at her current daycare), I was overcome with a feeling of absolute calm and contentment. It was strange as it was sort of what one might expect before they die (little life scenes passing before one's eyes) but it was good. I felt like I had done life right. I had an overwhelming gratefulness for this life that I have. I tell you, if you can wrangle up that feeling, I highly recommend it. I really have no idea what brought this about; I was driving, thinking about nothing in particular and then bam! It wasn't something that I carried throughout the day, but I could recall it.

Wow, now that I've revealed my absolute craziness to the rest of the world...ummm...have a great day, eh?

Just an ounce of stress...ok, more than an ounce

So, I'm seeing mentions of folks receiving postcards from the summer swap in their mailbox. The thing that's starting to freak me out is that I'm starting to think mine got lost in the mail. I sent them out from work in a batch on the first day of summer and usually that's a very safe option but I haven't seen any mention of anyone receiving my cards. Oh dear. If I could hear a shout out from someone that they received a card, I'd feel oh-so-much better. Thank you.

Back to your regularly scheduled program.

The Postcard Swap--Round 1

Can I start to tell you how fun this all is? All I can say is I hope Andrea does another one of these. I love mail.

In order of receipt...

Love the yucca-like yellow side parts (I'm so descriptive, eh?). This is from Kristen from Sticking to the Point.

This is from longtime bloggy pal, Nina. I'd show you the back too but you know, there's the whole address thing. She's got the cutest writing and she drew the best little squigglys. On the back, she listed some of her summer faves (see the rest in this post):

1. Glasses of wine after the kids go to bed

2. Bathing suit wedgies on my girl

3. The sound of the ice cream truck

4. Triming the hedges

5. The smell of tomato plants on my fingers

Emily from Shining Egg must be on my wavelength...she digs Mary Oliver too and she put in a quote from this poem. The title of this collage is...you guessed it, right? Watermelon!

And this is too dang cool. Cathy is from right here in my town and she sent this amazing card. On the verso: "Summer Checklist: walk on the beach, watch the stars, eat a peach, swim, have a drink at sunset, picnic, lay in a hammock, campfire."

I'll post the next 3 rounds as they come in. {heart, heart}

The Days of Wine and Roses

Yesterday...a day full of non-working technology. The end of the working day rushes up to greet me and I'm running late to pick up Kidlet.

I walk outside. Warm breeze, golden sun. A butterfly twirls about me. First Day of Summer.
I catch my breath for a moment. My race to the car slows a little.

I'd like to say I was able to continue with that feeling that started to melt my tensions away but after I picked up Kidlet, there was still a lot of the hustle 'n bustle left in me. But I was able to recapture it in tiny moments: sipping (gulping, just kidding) down rose at dinner while I watched Kidlet play with the bearded babies (since she ate so much bread in the car on the way home from the store, she couldn't eat dinner, just a popsicle...but I digress), deadheading the roses, crawling into bed earlier than I should (as I should be studying for my test) just to read my book. There was one other little bit of summer too...my first summer swap postcard! I'll post it in a separate post, after I get to scan it.

Here's to hoping all of our summers are less about the hustle 'n bustle and more about the butterfly.

More from the land of Random

I can't focus on anything lately. There's just too much stress in our little family's life right now and it's starting to take its toll on me. But here's a few things I've had in my head that want to come out so here they are...

1. Karis. Such a lovely pattern and I had fun starting it but I took it off the needles. I had about 12" of the neck portion knitted and I am so proud of the work I did on it that I bound it off and now it's draped about the base of my monitor at work. I felt like I needed a reminder that I am a creative person at my not-at-all creative job.

2. Socks. Still coming along, just starting the gusset. I'll be very happy when they are done because I have the idea that I'm going to try Jaywalkers with some Lorna's Laces I picked up a while ago. I finally picked a practical color scheme instead of the deep, rich jewel-toned yarns by which I seem to be constantly seduced.

3. Eeep! I gotta get started on my Xmas knitting. Now.

1/2/3 Yes, I know I'm the slowest knitter in all the land. Do I win a prize?

4. I finished my postcards for the swap, even addressed 'em. I'm now wishing I had spent more time making the artwork more different for each card. But I guess I know myself well enough to know that I just don't have much time and that to get them done in time should be high on my list. The part that was unexpectedly wonderful was writing the messages on the cards. I had a few themes..."A few of my summertime faves", "A Summer To Do List" and "A Summer Memory". Writing these made me dig deep and really think about what it is about Summer that I love. It was a lesson in gratitude for the small stuff. The cards all have something different written on them. After I wrote them out, I then tried to match the card to the person. I don't think I was 100% successful on this, but I did try.

5. Photos. I'm really frustrated. I just can't bring myself to buy a monitor, but at the same time I'm having a hell of a time processing photos to make them look right. On my lappy, they are bright and crisp. When I see them at work...dark and muddy. I know I'm trying to do this on a lappy and that throws a bit of a wrench in the works but even when I try to fix them in comparison to 'known good photos' (a serious pain in the ass, let me tell you), I still can't get anything to look good. I know every monitor across the world is different but I just want it to be a little more middle of the road as far as brightness is concerned. It doesn't help that I've found a couple of photographers on flickr that take my breath away. They've got it going on. I just feel like a hack. Le sigh.

6. I'm reading the most awesome book. All the King's Men. Love it. Completely. I tried to read The Invisible Man, but the violence was too much for me. I had to stop around page 70.

Ok, that's enough randomness for today. Go back to your regularly scheduled late afternoon activities.

Three things that amaze...well, at least they amaze me

1. Butterflies. We've been reading a book from the library and while I knew the basics, man, there was still stuff I did not know. It looks like this book didn't get the best reviews but it works fine for a 3 year-old (and a 38 year-old).

2. Giraffes. So improbable. Why are the way they are? I don't even really want to know; I just want to think of their long, lanky bodies and their gentle eyes. Seeing them at the zoo last week reminded me how weird and wonderful this world can be.

3. These cupcakes (thanks, bekka!).

Late afternoon editor's note: I think this is the weakest post EVER. But really, I was amazed.

Lazy Daisy

Everything is going like it's on frame-by-frame slow-motion right now. I've been feeling a little off physically. Creativity is adrift. Knitting requires frogging. Projects appear like mist and then just sort of fade away. Schoolwork has lost its urgency.

Maybe it's Summer. Or maybe I've finally caved in to the fact that yes, there is too much in my life right now.

About the only thing I'm managing to do with any consistency is daydream. Is this summer too early to start dreaming of a vacation next summer to Disneyland? Not according to my little head. Try and figure out what to buy at the grocery store for the next week? Nope. Let's see if would be better to fly to the Magic Kingdom or drive. Watching Kidlet at Fairytale Town last week, flitting about from one attraction to another like a honeybee, just put me in the mood for an escape to a place of limited reality. I've got to ground myself. Or maybe I should learn to make some kick-ass sangria and sit in the garden. If I take a break, perhaps I can jump back into my crazy go-go-go ways and be here now, not living in Tomorrowland. I'll keep you posted.

Didja miss me? Don't answer that.

This was the highlight of my time off. We did Fairytale Town, the Sacramento Zoo and Pancake Circus in fine style. I took a billion photos of a blurry little kid running from one groovy '60s-styled attraction to another. Big smiles all around. A lovely day was had by all and the obligatory meltdown didn't occur until we were back home. Kidlet's sugar crash made her a bit of a cranky little pill for the rest of the evening but it was all well worth it.


I wish I could say with my time off I took care of every household thing that I'd been putting off for months, that I finished my class, knitted four pairs of socks or wrote and illustrated a children's book. No. I spent a lot of time running around thinking, "hmmm, maybe thrifting would be good?" Thrift for an hour and then say to myself "hmmm, now I remember why I like to only go thrifting on a quarterly basis." Then I'd try to get some errands run and I'd end up like a puppy chasing her tail. Useless. I wish I could have taken off a full week. I think that would have helped. Or else maybe I should have just planned my time better. Or maybe taken a real vacation where I left for several days and all the mundane stuff would just be there when I got back, just like it always is. A lesson learned, yet again.


Oh yes, the dance class was cute enough to give you a mouthful of cavities, it was so sugary sweet. Little tots running, jumping and twirling about. What's not to love? Well, perhaps the price tag. By the time I paid for the registration, the class, the leotard, tights, tap shoes and ballet shoes...150 bux. Yikes. And I complain about how I can't do yoga because of its $12/class fee. Well, that and the fact that if I'm not at work, I generally have a three-year old at my side. Kidlet better be digging this class for at least as long as the dance clothes fit her.


As a last note for today, I decided to change the look of this ride. If I'm going to keep doing it, I may as well do it in style, eh? And I gave myself a pro account on flickr too. Oh, Ani, you're just digging your hole a little deeper. Yo ho ho, it's the online life for me.

Editor's Note

I wrote a post about how my quest to simplify was going, but I just felt like I was rehashing stuff that I've said over and over again. Deleted!

So, they are going to give belly dancing classes during lunchtime, at work. I signed up. Quit your laughing.

Have a loverly weekend and week, as I am going to take a week off this ride and just try to soak up the sun, watch the Kidlet go to her first dance class ( :D !), eat pancakes, maybe get some plants, go to Pancake Circus and Fairytale Town for the day, knit, make a bunch of postcards, take photos, thrift...oh yeah, maybe do some schoolwork. No, I don't plan to do this all on the weekend. I'm taking a few extra days off next week. Pancake dreams and snowcone wishes to y'all...