Pieces to the Puzzle

1. Paper is 87% done. Only things left are the sorting out of bibliography, footnotes, conclusion and a paragraph where I got it wrong.

2. Exam tomorrow. Should be studying. Look at me, Ma! I'm blogging!

3. Work is...ummm...oh dear. Rough.

4. Do I start a new Thanksgiving tradition by reading a poem at the table? Will I be the only one who digs it? Am I living in a fantasy land?

5. I officially have a doctor! I really like her!

6. I got my hair fixed! Thanks, Lisa! It still needs to grow, but at least it's shaping up.

7. Looking forward to reading what I want, knitting every night, and maybe even watching a movie. Getting ready to load up the ol' Netflix queue (and clear it of the movies I set up in the queue last summer when I thought I was going to watch movies). Holiday break, I love you and I don't care who knows it.

8. Considering a pair of navy patent leather Danskos.

9. Trying to switch back to tea, but I'm really enjoying this cup of coffee.

10. I'm really liking how Aldo Leopold is strongly featured for this exam. One of my favorite books is the Sand County Almanac. Ummm, just trying to bring my attention back where it belongs...studying.

11. The light is awful on today's photo. The birch bark is totally blown out...details in the lights, huh? Never heard of that (obv.).

There. An item for every item in my photo. Ta da!

I apologize for not getting back to your comments. I really love emailing everyone back (that is, if I have your email address) and having our mini-dialogs but things are so hectic. Give me a few more days and I should be back to the norm.

Put Your Head Down and Plow On

Things are going to be koo-koo crazy for a while 'round these parts. The race to the end of the semester has officially begun. Only three more class sessions, one of which is an exam (next week), one is our project presentation and one...well, I don't know what's in store for us for that extra class. I'm going to be a studying maniac this weekend, studying both my exam notes and the spring class schedule. Remember how I said I was floundering, not knowing what I was doing in school? I still don't know, but when I see the new class schedule with all those possibilities for learning sitting right there in front of me, I get excited. Right now it's down to History of Photography (I need one more art history class for my minor), Women in American Society, Propaganda Art 1925-1945, or Pathologies in Modern China...rad.

In light of the busy-ness, I think we will be moving to an even lighter schedule of posting for a while. It doesn't mean I won't be thinking about y'all, because I will. Enjoy your weekend! I'll be eating muffulettas, studying, and hopefully taking a walk or squeezing in the last 20 rows of my cowl.

Sure to Shine or One-Fifth

Think I will riff on Andrea's list and make an abbreviated version...20 things.

1. snowflakes
2. poetry
3. buttons
4. birds
5. NPR
6. sharp pencils
7. dark clouds
8. sandwiches
9. coffee
10. mary janes
11. firelight
12. glitter
13. Sriracha
14. daisies
15. stripes
16. pie
17. dogs
18. smooth stones
19. books
20. pancakes :)

There. See, I'm not all doom and gloom posts. Thanks so much for all of your nice hugs and comments on the last post. Much appreciated.

(title is a lyric from "Diamond Girl", Seals & Crofts)

Feel Free to Skip This One (The Ramblings of the Discouraged and Sleep Deprived)

So far the measly three hours of sleep I got doesn't seem to be affecting me (much).
My body decided that I would take a little ride with anxiety last night.
Pounding heart. Chills. Eyes wide open. And me telling myself "Enough already. Yeah, yeah. Stress, schmess. Can't we just sleep?"

* * * *

I was reminded last night that I haven't written a research paper in 18 years. We received our rough drafts back from our professor and while it wasn't totally lost in a sea of red editing marks, I was hoping the draft would be returned to me with a glowing review and a note that as soon as I sort out my footnotes I would be done.

It's kind of a synopsis of how I'm feeling about school right now. I'm feeling old and I just want to finish. I am losing sight of the end goal and my drive to get there is fading. I know that I would like to move on to a different career, but I have nothing specific in mind. It feels so distant since I can't do more than a class at a time...ugh. I'll stop complaining. Complaining is just ugly.

* * * *

I think you can guess what my weekend holds in store for me but I'm sure I'll figure out a way to finagle a few more rows on the cowl (officially 1/3 finished). Knitting with this fancy silk yarn is rather pleasant, but it isn't playing nicely with my circular needle. It keeps getting caught on the join, which is truly miserable on the rows where I have to do an extra wrap of yarn. I am trying to knit loosely but the yarn is so smooth, it naturally tightens itself up on the cord portion of the needles. Once the cowl is off the needles, I have a couple of tiny kitties (mew!) to finish and then it's back to the February Lady, which perhaps I should call the April Madame? My self-imposed 'finish by February' deadline seems to be a little out of reach now but you never know...the winter school break approacheth (yay!).

Whew. Sorry for such a gloomy gus of a post. Sometimes I just need to get it out of my system and writing it out really does help.

New Day Dawning

Hopes running high. Teary eyed. Pleased with the good sportsmanship in the speeches. More tears. So proud.

I know, I know...just like a broken record...

You've been hearing it from every quarter but I'm going to tell you too,

Vote, my dear friends.

If you are having trouble finding your polling place (eeep! the big day has arrived! where do I go?!), try this site. I know it's partisan, but it will still tell you where to go. You can also try looking up your county voter's registrar's office online.

And for a good laugh, check this out.

May your chosen candidate win!

Always Keep a Diamond in Your Mind

It was not the weekend I expected. I awoke on Saturday morning with an insanely swollen gland in my throat that was painful to touch. I was tired and achy. Date night was canceled. I walked into the garage to pick up my airy scarf that had been blocking; some beasty had rolled on it and it was a crumpled mess, straight pins all over the floor (I can't believe nothing happened to the Dink in the process). I started to tear up. I threw the scarf. Kidlet came and patted my back. Hubby made a restorative dinner. We drank wine.

While I straightened up the kitchen after dinner, Kidlet and Hubby carved the pumpkin (yes, on November 1st). As I listened to Kidlet and Hubby talk, my heart began to soar. Mentally, I started to list all the things that 'speak to me', that make my heart sing: jazz from before the 1970s, good homemade bread, looking at Latvian patterns, Fellini's films, Moomins, dogs, the outdoors, good sportsmanship (strange, I know), and most of all family, family, family. The actual list I made is much longer than this but I thought I'd share a few snippets. Composing it really filled my cup (and not just with wine, but that's on the list too) and brought me back to the present, feeling ever-so-grateful. I needed to let go of my expectations and enjoy the ride where ever it took me. Always a good lesson to remember, eh? I highly recommend making a list. It will bring you up, I promise.

(title brought to you by the Tom Waits' song "Diamond in Your Mind")

Ghoulish

I will be the rag-tag pirate, Kidlet will be a flower fairy or Glenda of the Wizard of Oz (depending what day you ask...all the same costume, however), Hubby is abstaining. Hoping you receive more treats than tricks today...

***

After the crazy push through all the stress, I'm left wondering, 'what do I do now?' I have a bunch of school stuff coming up, but not much I can do at the moment. Holiday plans are starting to settle in my mind. Guess that means I have to...relax? No, no, no...must scrub the house from top to bottom and then bottom to top. Has anyone else read Little Miss Busy? This is my biography.

I really am going to relax this weekend! Hubby and I have a fancy date at which I will wear my finished Airy Scarf. I will cast on the February Lady again (for what? the third time? fourth?). I will continue work on the cowl I cast on yesterday (in super fancy yarn). I will bake bread. I will ignore the yard work. I will walk in the park and collect leaves. I can't wait. I hope you have a similarly happy time awaiting you.

Lost: Mind. If found, inquire within.

An old friend used to tell me that she wished she could pull her brain out of her head and gently rinse it in cool water when she felt overwhelmed. I can relate.

Scattered

Feeling scattered but I want to write something, so that's what I'm going to do.

The new tradition...
big Sunday night dinners. You know, the kind with mashed potatoes and gravy.

The old tradition...
Sunday morning pancakes, alternate weekends waffles. This tradition may need to be adjusted after 7 years. Time for a little change.

I'll be really glad when...
I can turn in the rough draft for this paper on Thursday.
I cast on for the ol' February Lady again.

Not liking...
this sore throat that just won't quit.
how red poor Kidlet's nose is.
how my laptop keeps freezing up right at a time when I am very dependent on my laptop.

Liking...
making holiday plans in my head (already).
Kidlet's interest in the election.
when the golden leaves float down from the trees like butterflies.

Howsabout you?

Contrast

Here's a nice photo to contrast the icky feelings that I'm having right now. I'm cranky with Kidlet since she's been playing her sniffle card a little hard. She told me this morning that she didn't feel good and when she looked up at me with the big watery brown eyes and the little red nose underneath those, I bit. I said she could stay home and she started to grin. She said she just didn't want to go to school because she hates it. I then muttered under my breath something like "you'd better get used to it, sister, you'll be going until you are 18."

Apparently the trouble stems from a sewing lesson. She can't remember how to do the knot or sew the button to the fabric so she is frustrated and therefore hates school. Why couldn't she have picked up some of my better traits? I have little patience myself. If I can't pick something up and do it properly the first time around, I become extremely frustrated. Case in point: February Lady Sweater (I'm doing a little side-blogging).

So here I am, at home for the morning, sick myself (it feels as though I have swallowed two spiked golf balls) doing a little essay avoidance. Better avoid the avoidance and get back to it...geology of the Steamboat Ditch! Here I come!

We'll be back to a more-or-less regularly scheduled not-so-grumpy post soon...

I'm taking my Kidlet with me to vote today and I'm proud.

We have early voting here. Vote early and vote often! Just joking...sorta.

Tossed and Turned

Whew. What a whirlwind.

Saturday, we rode bikes to the pumpkin patch. The ride was lovely: warm with a cool breeze, rain sprinkling on and off. We took the hayride this year. It was a great fun, riding through the trees and pumpkin fields (bump, bump). We had our pumpkin patch cohorts up for dinner which was chaotic but fun.

Saturday night was a nightmare (for one small person, it was just exhausting for the two big persons). All night long, Kidlet would sleep for a bit and then 'wake up' (I use the term very loosely here) and cry. We tried to snap her out of it, since it seemed like she was in some sort of nightmare-loop. We never could. We tried watching a DVD, reading books, all lights on...nothing. She was calm during those activities, but it was crying time again when the lights went out. I 'slept' (again, I use the term very loosely) with her for what was left of the night. I thought she may be getting sick and while she does have a doozy of a sniffle, I think Kidlet just needed a quiet day lumped in a big chair. And that's exactly what she did all day yesterday. Me, I was a maniac doing 5 loads of laundry, making a big Sunday dinner, and eeeking out what I could on the ol' Ditch essay.

I can't say with much conviction that I'm glad I'm going back to work today (especially since it's going to be a working night too), but there is a tiny bit of me that is glad for some bit of normalcy.

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow (I Hope)

Yesterday: 97% on my exam (beam, beam). Lots of knitting done in between duties (before class, waiting for laptops to boot at work, after school).

Today: The last CSA basket with dried beans, homemade bread, potatoes, squash, greens and indian corn. Drinking chai tea. Toast and Rock 'n Roll Friday.

Tomorrow (I hope): Pumpkin patch on bikes with bike trailers attached. One for small children, one for pumpkin bounty.

What have you been up to?

The Cut and the Crunch

This is a photo from Friday. Now everything looks wilted in the yard except for the brilliant scarlet sumac. It'll be back to its seasonably warm self again this week.

Feeling the school crunch. My not-so-rough draft for my paper is due in just two and a half weeks and I only have approximately two pages of ten written. I've got a fair amount of info but not the required geological data nor any sort of flora/fauna inventory. I don't know where my subject falls on the township grid map. Every night I tell myself I'll get some work done, but then I start nodding off while I put Kidlet to bed. Sleep wins. I've started putting out deadlines for myself but knowing how the next couple of weeks are stacking up between home and work obligations, it's feeling a little grim. How do people do it? Ummm, right. They don't do the 'run away to New Orleans for a rollicking seven years' followed by the 'I'll find a profession that doesn't need schooling', followed by a child and lastly the 'Hmmm, maybe I do need schooling' trick.

So, a new informal poll... if you were living with a haircut you absolutely can't stand, would you

A) Ignore it and "let it grow, let it grow, let it grow" (despite the fact your hair grows at a glacial pace). Wear scarves and lots of styling products in an attempt to get by until it is in a better place.

B) Try another stylist and see if they can 'fix' it (after you find a new stylist AGAIN)

C) Cut it off! You know you were oogling the uber short hair that you saw in the Paris issue of Gourmet magazine, on the Sartorialist, and perennial favorite Jean Seberg.

I'm hoping next time I write you A) my paper is at least 3/4 finished and B) my hair has grown two inches. But I know I'll write before either one happens.

Five Things Friday

Haven't done this one in a while...

1. IT'S SNOWING!!! I wanted to post photos but we didn't get out in it until right before we had to leave the house.
1a. Because it is snowing, this means I get to wear the Clapotis! I'm wrapped up in it right now and it's so cozy and soft. This is going to be a daily wear for me until I knit something I love more. That will be tough.

2. I cast on for my 'finish by February' Lady sweater last night. This morning when I looked for a cardigan to wear I remembered that I haven't bought any cardigans because I thought I would knit them all. Yeah. So that means I will be wearing one of two cardigans that I already own for the next several months or possibly until next fall.

3. Test is done! Test went ok!

4. My new coworker is a camera addict too and said that he knows a guy that might be able to get me a super cheap deal on a Holga. Woot!
4a. I took my first roll on the Lomo! Must drop off this weekend.

5. Kidlet is done being sick (I think)!
5a. Maybe we will go to the pumpkin patch?

That's it for me. This weekend, I'm hoping to get some schoolwork in amongst the knitting, knitting, knitting. And cooking. And eating. And laughter and fun. Hope you do the same (well, hopefully you won't have to do the schoolwork).

They call this studying?

Big exam tonight and I'm studying the patterns of light as they dance across my notebook. The actual page I'm looking at has writing but I'm not really seeing it anymore. I get to a point in my exam prep where I'm looking past the list of terms and essay notes. If I study much more, it will be like a a dam has been breached and all the info will tumble out of my mind, tossing Pinchot, Muir, Bartram and Cary together like debris from floodwaters.

Kidlet is sick (tummy blehs) so in between making toast for her and patting her head, I'm taking this time to tidy the house and glance at my exam notes. Wish I could stay the whole day with her but I have to go to work too.

It's a perfect fall day outside: wind blowing through the trees, cool air, and the promise of clouds tomorrow. Trees are finally making up their mind that it might be time to turn. Remember: native trees turn color, those imported from Europe don't. Back to studying.

Toiling!

It's like pulling teeth, this research project. While I was amassing more useless data for my paper, I found this juicy tidbit of information. Since I cannot share it in my paper, I thought I'd share it with you.

From the Reno Evening Journal, July 22nd, 1926...

"Zach's Whiskers Two Feet Longer Since Injury

Zach Wilcox, well known Carson pioneer, who took second prize at a '49 celebration in Sacramento two years ago for the longest and most luxuriant beard when his whiskers measured slightly over twelve feet in length, has arisen from a sick bed and upon measuring his hirsute adornment, found it to have grown nearly two feet during his period of confinement which was approximately a year. His whiskers now measure fourteen feet flat. Zach has for years been a familiar character around the streets of Carson, riding his bicycle with his pet parrot on the handle bars."

Now how the heck can I compete when there is news like this? My research has to do with water rights, drought and taxes. BORING.

The Warm Before the Storm

This morning a warm breeze was rushing through the leaves, making a wonderful swishy noise. Clouds are gathering. We are in for a cold front! I can't wait. I'll be breaking out the tights and scarves this weekend. Ok, maybe that's premature but I can dream, eh? In any case, bread and honey wheat pumpkin muffins will be in the oven. Walks in the park, taking photos of leaves and inhaling the cool, fresh air. Casting on for the sweater? Maybe. Oh, and don't forget...do a major reorganization of my term paper and study for a test. Right. I'm going to go back to my fall daydreams...

Love is in the Mail

Rebecca took pity on me and my lack of cool toy cameras and sent me a Lomo Supersampler to borrow. How awesome is that? Very. I put the film in today and will be playing (well, when I'm not working, that is). And along with the 'how to' book was a Lomo inspiration book and a little journal (perhaps it can be a Lomo album... :) ). She's a nice one, that Rebecca.

And also waiting for me in the mail was the long-awaited yarn for my February Lady. Not quite the perfect blue I was searching for but I think it will do quite nicely. Cascade 220 Heathers in 9452, summer sky heather.

Yesterday truly was a day where my mailbox spilleth over. I also received my latest installment of the Moomin comic strip series as well as a couple of Christmas presents for Kidlet. Yes, I like to try and get my ducks in a row early.

Time to get busy...I wish I could say it was "get busy taking interesting photos and knitting" but I'm actually at the library finishing up a little morning research before I go to work.